Earrings, make-up and more recently tattoos and piercings are accepted forms of body cosmetics. Surprisingly, no jewelry is available for the one physical feature that is most important in social interactions, the eye.
Enter the “JewelEye” implant. This concept can be upsetting to some, especially conservative doctors, developed by Dr. Gerrit R.J. Melles (MD PhD) at the Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery. What the heck is it? Long Answer (My version): You voluntarily, at no threat of your family being killed or world annihilation, willing take a plane ride to Amsterdam, drop off your bags (which should include an 'Idiots Guide to Braille' textbook, just in case, you know). You then take a short train ride to Utrecht, where a place called Retina Total Eye Care Clinic, which under the guise of a luxurious spa (a ruse to lure unsuspecting sheep into a hellish trap of unspeakable tortures) serves you such vile swill as tea or espresso, (most likely spiked with sedating potions with no name) so that you cannot flee for your life when Agent X729 drags your semi-lifeless body into the back chambers of corporal mutilation. All this can be yours for a mere 800 Euros!
Short Answer (Their Version): Cosmetic Extraocular Implant — They implant a small piece of platinum jewelry under the surface of the eye.
Supposedly, there is no damage to either visual performance or mobility of the eye.
Apparently, healing is uneventful and involves nothing more than a course of antibiotic drops such as Tobramycine. Allegedly, you don't have an irritated, ouch-who-threw-sand-in-my-eyes feeling. -------------------------------------------- Amsterdam is known for it's ease in obtaining what other cities may consider lude — prostitutes, gambling, drugs, so why not eyeball torture if that's your thing. What's next, maybe a 'Your Insides Out Transplant'... |
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